Eventually it's time to force yourself to feel better. No matter what the conditions are.
Getting to this point hurt. A lot. And I hurt other people. A lot.

But first,
I don't care any more.
I don't need you.
I don't need anyone.
I don't need your approval.
And I don't need to prove my "worthiness" to you or what ever you'd like to call it.
This is my message, and I want it to say
REFRESH.
I'm starting over.
Clean slate.
If you wanna be in the picture, be my guest,
but the past is dead to me now.
Sure, it happened. But I'm over it. I've come to grips and forgiven myself and you so it really doesn't make much of a difference to me now because I'm starting over.

That's the wonderful thing about life. You can always start over if you really make an effort at it. Maybe it might take leaving the country and starting a new life, but what ever. If you want it bad enough, you can do it.

But I guess that what I'm trying to say is
I just don't care any more.
I'm tired of being sad all the time. So, I'm throwing out everything that I can dwell on and feel bad about. I did my best to try and fix it, but it wasn't enough. I've cut my losses and accepted the fact that I gave it my best shot, and that's what matters most to me. I can still come out of this mess with my dignity.

"So so what? I'm still a rock star.
I got my rock moves, and I don't need you.
And gess what, I'm having more fun.
And now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine.
And you're a tool,
so so what? I am a rock star.
I got my rock moves, and I don't want you tonight."

Maybe I'll post something.